The Battle of the bands
by California Gruesome
Summary: As long as Garrison was our teacher, he was bound to give us some sort of gay assignment" Sorry i wrote 'blah' before. It was 12:08 am when i finished, and my grandmother was roaring at me to get off.xD
1. And the battle begins!

A/N: Okay I was listening to a shit-load of songs when this idea popped out of no -where. I HAD to get it off my chest. It's kinda dumb, but you know I think it'll be funny. The majority of the story will be in Stan's P.O.V

* * *

Uuugh. Music class is just, not my thing. They're always giving us some dumb assignment. Like last time, They made us compare Micheal Jackson and .

Who won? Oh none of them. Some of the kids were afraid of MJ and didn't want R. Kelly to ''kill'' them.

Oh shit. I don't think I mentioned…I'm Stan Marsh, I live in South Park, Colorado and I'm 15 years old.

My best friend in the world is Kyle, but we'll get into that mess later, since I am obviously getting way off track here. Now about the Music class, you ask? Well here's what happened….

"Okay Class, I'm going back way in time to compare some bastards to little Tammy sluts of today" Mr. Garrison said, pulling out different sets of drawers.

Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head in frustration. If I could read his mind, it would say "God, how did we manage to GET to this grade?"

"Ah here we go" Garrison smirked triumphantly as watched him dump a pile of papers on his desk

"Here's the assignment class, each of you are going to pair up in groups of four and perform to a song of my choice. I will then challenge you to another group, and you will face off each other. Here are the rules

All girl groups and all boy group. No mixing, you tricky bastards. You must name your group with something appropriate-"

"Mr. Garrison? By appropriate do you mean Edward Cullen appropriate or Oprah-meets-the-Brady-Bunch appropriate?" Butters asked, raising his hand.

"Oprah, Butters, now all of you pair up. Quickly now I haven't got all day" With that he sat back in his chair, reading some sort a gay magazine

A group singing thing? Oh no, oh HELL no. We've been through this before! Do we really have to do this again?

Groan…..Might as well get It over with.

"Hey Kyle, where's Cartman and Kenny?" I asked searching the class

"Kenny's over there, and as for the fat-ass I haven't seen him" Kyle remarked shrugging

"Hey guys, for the record this assignment sucks cock" Kenny remarked walking over to us.

"This be true, but we've done it before. Doesn't matter thought. As long as the song isn't done by some dumb ass band like owl city" I groaned

From the corner of my eye I saw Cartman strolling over to our direction

He looked a bit pissed, if not completely ticked off out of his mind.I didn't know he hated bands this much

"Damn Garrison and his shitty ass assignments…" Cartman mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets

"Nice to see you to sunshine" Kenny grinned.

"Alright, children. Each one of your little groups Just arrange your desks' next to each other"

We did. Noise from every corner of the room, a bit chaotic, as I heard a series of

"HEY! YOU KNOCKED MY FREAKIN' DESK!"

"SHUT UP! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!"

"Oh, nice going retarded. you ruined the FUCKING floor"

And so on. I sat next to Kyle, Kyle sat next to Kenny and Kenny sat next to Cartman.

"Craig, Butters, Clyde and Token, you bunch will get Candy shop by 50 cent" Mr Garrison said

"Wendy, Bebe, Red, and Heidi, you girlies can get Tic Tok by Kesha" He told the girls

"OHHHH MYYY GOD I LOVE THAT SONG!" Bebe shrieked.

"Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman you all will get ''Yeah'' by Usher"

No my god….really?

"Tweek, Timmy, Kevin and Jimmy you guys will get Tempted to touch"

And it goes on and on and on…

But Usher? God….

I pray this goes well, but knowing my toen It's bound to blow up in my face.


	2. Now see here, Miss Lopez

A/N: So, they're might be one or two Ocs, but they're not gonna have two extremely large rolls. One of them is mine, the other is a really close personal friends'

"Of course, Garrison picks the crapiest music of todays pop culture. What exactly did we learn from this class?" Kyle asked, while we were opening our lockers and taking out the necessary books for the next class.

"That Beyonce is 'fierce?'" Kenny replied, shrugging.

"…….Anyway….let's just get this crap over with. Have any of you assholes even heard this song?" Cartman inquired, looking as if he didn't give a rats ass who sang the song.

"Well yeah I have…" Suddenly I was cut off by the sound of guns and screams. What the hell was going on now?

(A/N: WARNING! If you people like some of these people, I am letting you know now that I like some them myself, and am just making fun of them because south park hasn't yet!)

I ran outside with the rest of the hall behind me. Oh shit….

Looks like Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana, and Jenifer Lopez were outside, shooting some random people.

…..Wait Hannah Montana? Aren't Miley and she the same person?

"SO YOU BITCHES DIDN'T USE OUR MUSIC HUH?" Jenifer cried, re-loading her gun and aiming it at the school walls.

"YOU DIDN'T THINK WE WERE GOOD ENOUGH? WELL ARE WE GOOD ENOUGH NOW? HUH?" Miley shrieked, throwing a bomb into the street.

Holy shit dude..

"They can't be talking about the crappy assignment, can they?" I asked, shaking my head.

"It looks like it, all celebrities have some sort of monitor on South Park."

"Alright, who's stopping them this time?" Kenny asked, half talking to us, and half making 'sqeezing boobies' with his hands.

"Isn't it always up to us? Let's just go" I dashed behind a bush, as if we were playing cowboys and aliens like when we were 8. I peered over it, just as Jenifer bitch slapped Hannah.

We needed a plan, I thought, I have almost no experience with women, besides Wendy of course and I only know how to handle her because I just KNOW her.

But three-that-are-suppose-to-be-two-celebrities? I don't know really.

-----------------Yolle's P.O.V-------------

Oh jeez. They're out AGAIN? Didn't I deal with them in New York?

"Hey Cleo, Should we?" I asked my best friend, Cleo. She was wearing her lucky purple shirt and black jacket, which means she was SO in the mood to kill someone.

"I say we go for it, these….things…can't destroy MY school! OR put Cartman in any danger!" She answered.

Yes, she's in love with Cartman. I don't exactly understand why but that's alright. I'll never understand it anyway.

I'm Yolle, but a lot of my friends either call me the Yols, Yol-sta, Yoll-leh. I'm a New Yorker, but I was born and raised in South Park.

And I'm madly in love with Kyle, anyway!

"Where'd I leave my shot gun…ah, here it is" I slipped it into the back pocket of my black skinny jeans.

As Cleo and I walked towards the group, all eyes were on us. Cleo nodded at me

"YO LOPEZ!" I shouted. They all turned to me.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" She aimed her gun at me. Please…

"You don't remember me? Yolle? I acted in 'The Divorce Express' remember?" I told her, quirking my eyebrow.

"Oh, you're that Yolle Charelton bitch. What's your point?" Hanna said, waving her blonde hair.

"What exactly are you assholes trying to prove?" I asked

"WHAT?"

"What….are….you…..trying….to….prove…." Cleo repeated for me.

"That our music is better than USHERS and the other crappy as bands you guys got!" Miley said

"So, you think if you waltz in here, Start shooting people, and throwing grenades at our school will make them like you more? Look at their FACES. They're scared out of their fucking minds!" Cleo asked, obviously getting tired of this

Miley looked thoughtful. I'm surprised, I never knew she could think in the first place…

I saw Stan and Kyle moving slowly and silently behind the two.

I opened my eyes, kinda saying

_What are you DOING? _

Stan shook his head: _Jumping them! We'll take Cyrus and Hannah, you two go for Jenifer._

_Cleo noticed, and grinned. _

"_Are you hoes out of your MIND?" Jenifer yelled_

"_We came here for justice! These assholes don't know what they're saying!"_

_Stan and Kyle leaped on Hannah and Miley, and Cleo and I lunged Lopez_

"_GET OFFA ME! NO ONE CAN TOUCH ME UNLESS THEY'RE WEARING DONNA AND GABANNA!" She shrieked from beneath us._

"_OH MY GOD YOU, LIKE, RUINED MY FRIGGIN MANICURE!" Miley whimpered, Kyle holding her down_

"_Your manicure? LOOK WHAT HE DID TO MY HAIR!!!!!"_

_Just then the FBI came up, took the three and shoved them in the back of their car and drove off._

…_..Since when did we have an FBI?……_

"_And they all just keep on comin'" Cleo said, grinning and rocking on her heels._

"_Thanks you guys, this kind of thing happens all the time" Stan said, sighing._

"_Yeah, I know. I'm surprised I haven't seen Satan all week." I remarked._

"_So who's in you guys' group thing?" Kyle asked, and I almost melted._

_Knowingly, Cleo answered for me. I'm sure if I had I would have confessed my undying love for him._

"_Just the two of us. It's an odd-numbered class. We got paparazzi" I said._

"_Ah, okay. See you guys later then." They left, and I sighed_

"_Thanks. I would've blurted something about how my notebooks have his picture tapped to them ALL over"_

"_No worries. My notebook has Cartman's picture"_

* * *

_A/N: I can never write a story without Ocs…but this might be the last and first time you see them in the story._

_I'm a bit pissed off, because I just listened to paparazzi backwards and it said 'All stars above, above, We model in the eyes of Lucifer"_

_Lucifer= Satan. Not the funny one either, the real thing._

_I feel betrayed. I'm christian, for god's sake! Do I believe it? Yes and No. some people might just want to bash her career, but I won't take any chances._

_Anyway, I'm gonna try to make myself happy._

_Happy happy, Joy joy_

_Happy Happy joy!_

_Happy happy happy happy joy joy joy joy!_

_I don't feel better - -''_


End file.
